Oh no! I'm Alan Partridge
The painfully fine line between reality and parody
Of course Alan Partridge’s new series is about mental health. In fact, he claims in the introduction that "How Are You? It’s Alan (Patridge)” is ‘Britain’s first ever documentary about mental health.’
As always, Alan is late to arrive at the party and deluded about the role he is playing.
The show is brilliant: a pitch-perfect parody of all the vanities, platitudes, waffle and insincerity that’s often apparent in the mental health arena.
For me, it was an uncomfortable watch at times. The stuff I was laughing at seemed so chillingly familiar. Talking about ‘using my platform’ to help others is exactly the sort of shit I’ve spouted, verbatim, here and elsewhere. When Alan says it, you suspect he is doing so because he’s seen a career opportunity in the mental health ‘space’ that might help him make a few quid, attract some attention and earn him a dizzying mix of sympathy and admiration. ‘Shit,’ I thought continually as I watched it. “Is that me?’
There are other troubling parallels. His show starts with him having an on-air meltdown, which he says triggered a period of self-reflection. My recent book, Stop Shitting Yourself, opens with me saying something stupid live on This Morning, getting cancelled and subsequently embarking on a mental health ‘voyage of discovery.’
Alan used to have his own show on a radio station, which he frequently references. I do the same. Alan does voice-overs on crappy ads to help pay the bills. Same here. Alan spent some time working for an ethically iffy broadcaster in Saudi. I once made a show for Russia Today.
The only thing I thought I might have over Alan was that I was better dressed. But in this recent show, he wears a really nice red Harrington jacket, almost exactly like one I used to own. I found myself admiring it on Alan and regretting that I had sold mine on eBay four years ago. So I’m not even any cooler than him.
In fact, let’s be honest, I am a less successful version of Alan Partridge. He’s had various prime-time shows on the BBC, which is more than I’ve ever had. He lives in a big Oast House in Norfolk that is much bigger than my home in London. He has hair, and I don’t. If Alan Partridge is a byword for desperate, cringey, loserdome, then what does that make me?
Anyway, enough of that. There’s no point in beating myself up about it. I’m a happy enough bloke, even if I am a loser. I realise that sharing stuff about mental health can seem cringey, clichéd, self-indulgent and performative. I’ve realised that since the first time I wrote something here on Substack five years ago. But I figured: ‘Who cares?’
I understood that hearing other blokes, blokes I could relate to, share their own experiences had really helped me in the past. When I realised other men felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts and struggled with the same bullshit as me - yet managed to recover and live a happier life, then I felt less alone and more optimistic. So, fuck it. I thought. I’d share my own stories and accept that while some people might find it irritating—and even more people might find it plain boring—there will be a few who find it helpful. And the messages I get from time to time from readers remind me that this is the case. I’m happy to be a bit of a knob if it helps give a few people some hope in their darkest hours (Jesus, even as I write that, I am sickeningly aware of how Partridge it sounds).
Plus, much of this is purely selfish. I find it very cathartic to write about my own feelings. I probably wouldn’t do it otherwise.
I’m not even convinced that Alan’s intentions are purely self-serving or insincere. He does struggle with the same complicated feelings that all of us do from time to time. He is only belatedly trying to make sense of them in his own fumbling and ham-fisted way. Good luck to him. I hope he finds the answers he is seeking.
Come To This Event In London On Saturday
Where I will be part of a panel discussing men’s mental health, hosted by former Reset guest Tom Davis of the Proper Mental podcast. It’s part of a whole weekend of mental health events and discussions at City Lit. Tickets here.
Some recent guest appearances
I’ve guested on some cracking podcasts recently. Last month I was invited to appear on Life With Brian - The Brian McClair Podcast to talk about football, mental health and Top Flight Time Machien with the Man United legend. It was a real honour to spend time talking to one of the footballers I grew up admiring.
I also loved being invited back onto the excellent 22 Grand podcast to discuss my favourite songs of the 00’s.
And finally, I appeared on the THIS Album podcast with William Hann, discussing one of my favourite albums, Prince’s Lovesexy.
Some services, links and phone numbers to help you through the tough times
https://www.samaritans.org/ Tel 116 123
https://www.thecalmzone.net
@YoungMindsUK 0800 018 2138
@CharitySane 0300 304 7000
https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
https://cocaineanonymous.org.uk/
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/gambling-addiction/
Oh Sam, this was the first thing I read this morning, with my cuppa, and I cracked up! Thanks for starting my day laughing!
You forgot to mention you and Alan are both funny as!
Two days ago I sent a pm to someone who was struggling. A couple of hours later she posted a meme that had almost identical words to my message. I thought, have I become a meme or does she/others think I get words of wisdom from memes?
I hear losers are the new winners! Keep on losing at life x
We definitely all have a bit of Alan hidden in us somewhere...the difference is some people recognise it, and others are completely oblivious! If it gets people talking, can only be a good thing! (im off to burn my Rupert the Bear trousers)