Recovery Primer Part One

Have you got a problem with drink? Does it even matter?

Do you have a problem with drink? Do you struggle to just have a couple? Do you think it’s a bit boring to stop at one? Do you ever drink just to alleviate boredom? Is alcohol inextricably linked to relaxation, fun, excitement, celebration and commiseration?

Or do you just like the taste of it?

These are the sort of questions you might be asked by your doctor or an internet questionnaire in order to establish just how bad a state you’re in.

But none of it really matters. The only thing that matters is how you feel about your drinking. Do you want to keep doing it? Then keep on doing it, I guess. Unless people close to you are begging you to stop. But, even then, you have to ask yourself if you really want to stop just to appease them. Do you value booze more than your relationship with them? Are you okay with maybe losing them as long as you can keep drinking? Then keep going.

But if you’d really like to stop but are finding it diffucult to do so, then I would call that a problem. Personally, I spent a couple of years repeatedly resolving to quit drink, then falling off the wagon and feeling shit about myself.

So when someone eventually told me that my only option was to stop completely and forever, I was really open to that idea. I had tried cutting down a million times and it never worked. Once you’ve crossed that invisible line into problematic drinking, just a taste of booze will trigger a thirst that feels insatiable.

In my late thirties my resistance to drink increased rapidly. As a result, my consumption started to spiral.

With me, it was a case of all or nothing. So, in the end, I chose nothing. It wasn’t easy - especially to begin with - but eventually I came to see that being sober wasn’t about the stuff you sacrificed but the stuff you gained, like energy, focus, better health and fitness, increased creativity and mental spark, improved engagement with your loved ones (especially your kids), a turbo-powered ability to see the beauty and joy in everyday life and - best of all - love.

Drink, ultimately, made me sloppy, cynical and dull. It made harder to love. It made it harder for me to love others.

Sobriety allows you to open your heart and rediscover how much fun life is. Look at kids: those little fuckers are almost always laughing and loving life. And they’re never pissed. At least I assume not.

Over the coming weeks I will be writing more about the things I discovered in sobriety and how I broke out of the boozing ‘grey area’ - that situation where you’re not a classic alkie who has totally fucked his life up but, nevertheless, feel that things would be a lot better if you could just manage to live without drink.

I want to help you navigate yourself out of that grey area. I did it myself eight years ago and I have never looked back. I never committed to AA or went to residential rehab. I got some therapy, changed my habits (initially in small ways) and tried to constantly look for the positives in sobriety. It worked.

Now I want to break down my experiences in more detail to help others who want to do the same.