The Low Performance Fitness Plan

How I got fit and stayed fit by not really trying

Today I took a long slow run by the river Thames listening to music. Not nosebleed techno. Not the Rocky soundtrack. Just some low key, slightly jazzy hip-hop. Plodding music.

It took me fucking ages but I managed to eek out 8km, my best distance so far this week. My Strava app reckoned I burned 900 calories, which I felt good about. I did a bit of work and then, mid-morning, I had a cup of tea with a millionaire shortbread slice, which Google tells me has about 400 calories in it. So I’m still up on the deal. I feel invigorated and content, plus I have a nice sugar rush on the go. This just about sums up my approach to Low Performance Fitness.

I wrote recently the dangers of high performance culture. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in the world of fitness. Many influencers, experts and celebs endorse goal-driven fitness regimes designed to achieve a specific weight loss, muscle gain or performance target. But all that ‘lose two stone in a month’ stuff discourages balance and, all too commonly, sets people up for disheartening failure.