Donald And Me

The worrying moment I realised I had something in common with President Trump. Plus, what a new doc about Sly Stone teaches us about addiction.

As much as I’m appalled and concerned by the early weeks of Trump’s presidency, I must admit I find myself relating to him somewhat.

When he kicked off in that press conference with Zelensky, his weirdo sidekick Vance yapping encouragement beside him, I thought to myself: “Shit, that’s the sort of thing I do!”

Donald was annoyed because he thought someone was disrepscting him. So he snapped. He was probably a bit tired and hungry. Not that I’m excusing him. The silly bastard could have started world war three just because he forgot to have his afternoon nap. Someone like me can get away with being occasionally grumpy. You’d expect more from a President.

I’m keenly aware of how ill-qualified I would be for any position of civic responsibility. Never mind leader of the free world, I’d struggle to perform effectively as secretary of my local badminton club. I am easily distracted, lack application to matters I find boring and possess poor attention to detail at times.

I ocassionally let my feelings guide my behaviour in the heat of the moment. I have got better at regulating my emotions over the years and am at least aware that it’s something I need to work on.

Sometimes it’s okay. If someone winds you up or goes out of their way to hurt your feelings, it can be good to listen to your anger and tell them to pack it in. It’s called setting boundaries. There is a fine line between healthy emotional regulation and self-defeating passivity.

But other times - like, when someone cuts you up in traffic, say, or the stressed out-leader of a war-torn democracy doesn't show you the gratitude your ego feels you deserve - it’s better to take a breath, count to ten and just allow the moment of irritation to pass, so you can carry on with your day unbothered by the toxicity of conflict.

Emotional regulation is a skill that all of us need to cultivate and nurture throughout our lives. It has two key facets: the ability to recognise our emotions and the ability to control them. It also helps if you can communicate them effectively.