I could relate to so much of this. Before I got help in understanding addiction I was an enabler. I went through years of pain watching someone I loved unconditionally, going through torture, unable to 'make it all better'. It was only when I accepted it was outside my control, and started to care for myself, that things started to change. I started to see the addiction as the enemy, not the person, who was always there underneath. One of the things I struggled most with was being rejected when I showed love. Yes I agree it’s important to always unconditional love and yes that is taken advantage of over and over, however, it’s when the addict feels guilt and shame and feels unworthy of love that they isolate and cut you out of their life that I find the most frightening and painful. It’s a waiting game, never knowing if they are dead or alive. I remind myself I have no power over this but it doesn’t stop the feelings.
Thank you Jordan, for sharing your story. The world needs people like you.
I could relate to so much of this. Before I got help in understanding addiction I was an enabler. I went through years of pain watching someone I loved unconditionally, going through torture, unable to 'make it all better'. It was only when I accepted it was outside my control, and started to care for myself, that things started to change. I started to see the addiction as the enemy, not the person, who was always there underneath. One of the things I struggled most with was being rejected when I showed love. Yes I agree it’s important to always unconditional love and yes that is taken advantage of over and over, however, it’s when the addict feels guilt and shame and feels unworthy of love that they isolate and cut you out of their life that I find the most frightening and painful. It’s a waiting game, never knowing if they are dead or alive. I remind myself I have no power over this but it doesn’t stop the feelings.
Thank you Jordan, for sharing your story. The world needs people like you.