They say that if you want something done, ask a busy person.
That’s true, if you don’t mind it being done shit.
I have a track record of making shit decisions when I am over busy. Here’s a couple of reasons why:
1. When I am over busy I get tired. And when I am tired my brain doesn’t function properly - I become preoccupied with just getting things done as opposed to getting them right. So I make quick-fire decisions just to get shit out of the way.
2. Conversely, being busy can make me overly confident in myself. If I am really busy I figure it must mean I am doing something right; that I am very good at my job which is why so many people want to work with me. And so I breezily fire off ill-thought through decisions in a sort of semi-psychotic state of hubris. I put an immense amount of faith in my natural instincts. But my natural instincts often suck. My rational brain is much more of a reliable influence. But it’s really hard to be rational when you are strung out and knackered.
Being busy is overrated. It is also counter-productive: you think you’re getting stuff done by filling every moment of your day but, with no time to breath or reflect on any of your decisions, you end up doing everything half-arsed.
The government are always telling us how many pieces of fruit and veg we should eat or how many units of alcohol we should drink. Why don’t they shout as loudly about the amount of hours we should be working? Young people joining the workforce just don’t know this stuff. No-one warns them about overwork. In fact, they do the opposite: kids are told that they way to get on is to keep your head down, your mouth shut and your eyes off of the clock. Only by devoting yourself completely to The Grind will you get the attention of the bosses and the progression you desire. Well, I’ve been on both sides of that lie so I know exactly what a scam it is.
Thatcher’s been dead eight years and yet so many of us still buy into the bullshit she sold us about hard work being its own reward. Like fuck it is. Hard work is a conspiracy; a scam conjured up by the bosses to enslave us all and give us bad backs. Our worth is not intrinsically linked to our productivity.
I’m not some sort of fucking hippy. I don’t think we all need to start living in communes and having it off with each other’s wives. And I’m not a communist either. I think work is necessary and can be liberating too. Sometimes, it can even be enjoyable. It’s ‘The Grind’ that’s the problem. Working your arse off for insufficient rewards, neglecting your mental and physical health, numbing the sense of exhaustion with booze, drugs and shitty food - and all the while bragging about it.
I spent so long being the sort of prick who prided himself on how busy he was. “How are you?” people would ask. “Good,” I’d say. “Busy.” As if the two things went hand in hand. Then I would roll my eyes as if to say: “What am I gonna do? I can’t help being in-demand and extraordinary. Luckily I can cope with the crazy schedule because I am such a fucking legend.” I was not a fucking legend. I was a fucking twat.
I got addicted to being busy for the same reason I got addicted to booze and drugs. I was scared. Scared of slowing down and just seeing what happened. Scared of what fresh horrors life might have waiting for me around every corner. Just scared of being alive, really. Work was a brilliant distraction from all that stuff. And unlike getting constantly pissed or high, work addiction actually attracted praise and admiration from people. But it shouldn’t have done.
People should stop fetishising work. They should stop glorifying grafters. They should stop glamourising The Grind. The Grind is bollocks. Not only does it make you miserable, knackered and unhealthy - it also makes you shit at your job. We should start glamourising rest instead.
Businesses are obsessed with constantly increasing profits. The economy is in flux. And so everyone asks their workers to do more for less. It’s the quickest and easiest way to increase margins. They incentivise workers by promising career progression and increased opportunities. But we all know that’s bullshit. We work hard because we don’t want to lose our jobs and starve to death. It’s pretty ugly if you stop to think about it in such stark terms - which is why we just keep working to distract ourselves instead.
I appreciate that I claimed earlier that I wasn’t a communist and yet here I am, not four paragraphs later, sounding very much like a fucking communist. But I love capitalism. I like money and enjoy buying stuff. I think that ambition is normal and the market can be a an engine of progress. I just think modern capitalism is getting a bit silly and unimaginative. There must be a better way of moving the world forward than just working everyone harder and harder and harder. What did we invent robots and Zoom calls for? I’m all for profit. But there are smarter ways to pursue it than grinding everyone into physical and emotional wrecks. And by the way, I also understand that jobs are essential for survival and it’s easy for me to sit here knocking this bollocks out on an Apple Mac when I don’t have to work three shifts a day just to cover the rent.
But whatever you do - whether you’re a cleaner or a CEO - you still need to rest and you shouldn’t be expected to work at the pace of a machine just to survive. We might not be able to smash the system overnight but we can at least try to go a bit easier on ourselves, whatever we do for a living.
When I was a kid my mum worked as a secretary in offices she often hated. Then she became a carer for old people, which was slightly more fulfilling but much harder and more poorly paid. To me she was a hero - working all hours to support her four sons. So whenever I felt that my relatively easy life of writing books and being on telly was getting too much for me, I told myself that I had no right to feel tired. But we all have the right to feel tired and to do something about it.
It is so obvious to me now that overwork was one of the biggest factors in my boozing and drug taking in my twenties and thirties. I was self employed and would never say no to more work, however overstretched I was. Anxiety and constant insecurity haunted me even when I was earning well. I assumed every job would be my last. When I had kids I thought I would calm down but the added sense of responsibility only made me worse. I never rested - I just punctuated the work with getting battered. I had to anaesthetise myself from the pressures of The Grind. What kind of life requires constant artificial stimulants to make it manageable? That’s fucking mental.
Let’s glamourise rest. Let’s make putting our feet up sexy. Let’s focus less on our productivity and more on our leisurewear choices.
Resting is a cure all. Switching off your mind and your body can fix all of your problems: mental, emotional and physical. And I don’t just mean weird stuff like yoga and complicated breathing techniques. I mean watching a film and having a bag of Quavers on the sofa. Or putting a record on, having a biscuit and staring out the window at the local cats. Have a nap. Just do shit you like. Mindless stuff. Put time aside for it. Treat yourself to it. Take pride in the amount of time you spend doing fuck all. Learn to pity the dickheads who boast about how busy they are. They are insecure, scared and miserable. Try to help them if you can.
The Grind is bullshit. Your sofa is your friend. We all need money, yes. But quit giving more than you’re being paid for on the empty promise that it will one day bring you riches. It probably won’t. Quit thinking that staying late at the office makes you look tough or cool or dynamic. It definitely doesn’t.
Be a shirker, not a worker.
The Reset Podcast with Nick Hussey
Last week’s pod featured Nick Hussey, an entrepreneur who himself fell prey to The Grind. Like so many self-employed people (myself included) he became dangerously infatuated with his own productivity. It drove him to the point of suicide. Now he is proving that is is possible to run your own business without driving yourself mental. He has found a way of succeeding without the need for unsustainable working practices and crazy stress levels. Nick is an inspiration and I loved talking to him about work and mental health. Give the pod a listen here.
The Reset Extra Book Club
Up grade to the Reset Extra for a fiver a month and get access to our book-club. This is a list of brilliant books, mostly written by people who have been guests on the reset podcast. Some are specifically about self-help or mental health. Others are just cracking memoirs with valuable insights to stuff like addiction and what not. All of them are highly recommended. I’ve done a little review for all of them and other Reset members are adding their own choices all the time.
When you upgrade to the Reset Extra you also get bonust newsletters, early access to ad-free podcasts and access to our private Facebook group.
Some services, links and phone numbers to help you through the tough times
https://www.samaritans.org/ Tel 116 123
@calm 0800 58 58 58
@YoungMindsUK 0800 018 2138
@CharitySane 0300 304 7000
https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
https://cocaineanonymous.org.uk/
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/gambling-addiction/
A timely post, seeing as I handed in my notice to my overstressed, overstretched current job the other day.....
Now working my notice, happy in the knowledge that the end is in sight and I can take on agency work to suit my needs....... Thanks Sam
Love it. My 'favourite' is the people sending emails stupidly early or stupidly late, just to show everyone how many hours they work.