Always good to read Sam, 4 months sober tomorrow thanks to AA after 20years of abusing alcohol, going to bed sober is all that matters at the moment, keep up the good work you are doing with the reset, and thanks for helping me laugh listening to you and Andy, the great cliched medicine 👍
Nice work. I remember those first few months being tough. I'm 11 months in and its feeling easier to get to bed time with out wondering about booze. Stay strong and talk through your weakness. :-)
It is so helpful for my anxiety to hear someone else talking about their hope for a slower, more humble, less destructive approach to life post covid. Gives me hope! Thank you Sam.
I was a TFTM listener from almost the very beginning, and I went back and listened to the early episodes when I was first introduced to the podcast. I was a member of the Iron Filings Society, and I sat in the front row of one of the live sessions in London in Sept 2019 with my brother - both wearing DIY TFTM t-shirts that I'd made (which got us noticed.)
I was pregnant at the time and also growing a large cancerous tumour in my back which hadn't been found yet. I was suffering with intense pain, and ended up in hospital by Oct 19 and in a hospice - still pregnant - in Nov and Dec 19.
I stopped listening to the podcast when I was very ill in the hospice. I stopped doing anything I had previously found enjoyable, because I didn't want to be reminded about the life I had been living in such a state of anxiety, fear, sadness, dread and anger. Life had become unrecognisable. I was afraid that I wasn't going to survive, or even meet my daughter.
My daughter was born prematurely by caesarean in Dec 19. She was miraculously healthy despite going through a round of chemotherapy with me. I've managed to get into remission, and I had stem cell transplant in June 2020 which put me in Intensive Care.
I'm trying to piece my life back together now, slowly finding the things that I enjoyed and became afraid to enjoy. I don't have a job currently, so I can only listen to the free episodes of podcasts at the moment in the rare times I have a moment to myself when my daughter is asleep.
I think this podcast and these articles are brilliant. The way that Sam writes really resonates with me. I struggle to capture my thoughts into words, but I read his writing and feel as though I could have written it myself if I had the skills. As someone who suffered with stress, anxiety and depression before cancer came into my life, I know it's going to take a lot of time and effort to improve my mental health. I'm looking forward to more from The Reset.
Brilliant as always and as they say in recovery "if nothing changes, nothing changes" so for now I'm gonna at least do my bit and keep making that change, to be a better person, a better son, a better brother and a better father and most of all be better to myself and hopefully like they also say in recovery "attraction rather than promotion." Oh I do love a slogan lol. 😆😂🤣🤦♂️
It gives me great joy to read your reflections and insights into your PST. It is so true that it’s easier to just lose yourself in another binge rather than face up to the reality. It’s fully loaded with every type of emotion and who would open themselves to that? I'd watch my son reach that crossroads so many times, hoping he’d take the road that would lead him back to us. I'd look at him with sadness. For too many years I tried to fix it. Hoped I could somehow help him through the guilt; stop the nightmares and the flashbacks that he only knew one way to stop. It was only when I joined a parent of addicts group that I fully understood I was not communicating with my son, but the addiction. It changed everything for me. At the time he was disappearing and we were frantic we’d find him dead. We'd search everywhere. I was told he had to hit rock bottom, whatever that meant (every possibility he’d OD and die) Or he’d start to climb back out of the hole. Whatever the outcome, what was clear, after 25 years, was whatever I did our didn’t do, wouldn’t change the outcome. He’s still here. Off the drugs for 18 months now but still binge drinking occasionally. I did help in the end, by stepping back. And I gave him the letter I wrote to 'addiction'. I like to think it helped him get perspective and separate the person he is from the addiction. I carry a card with me at all times. ‘I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. I can not prevent it’.
Keep on pouring out your thoughts and feelings Sam. You are honestly helping so many. Thank you.
Top read Sam - I’m a lifelong City fan and have never felt more ashamed of the club I chose to support although it’s been pretty embarrassing for the past decade.
Being a City fan for all your life- analogy- it’s like you’re a hard working bloke trying to keep your head above water - sometimes you sink and other times stay afloat- then you wake up one day to find you’ve won the lottery which at first, makes you ecstatically happy, but deep down it’s all superficial gain - If asked what’s your favourite car I’d say it was the Vauxhall Nova 1.2 merit I worked hard to scrimp and save for - although I know I’d never give up the Zonda for it (my hypothetical lottery winning car) - similarly, if asked what’s my best memory of City I’d instinctively reply “the 99 division 2 play- offs” because that was when city were shit and small gains meant the world- but if someone asked me would I go back there tomorrow if I could, I’d instinctively reply ”in a heartbeat” knowing deep down I’m not willing to give up the riches bestowed albeit for fleeting superficial moments of joy/ likewise I’d not give away all my millions I’d won because, despite doing some work for good causes (I hope I would) I’d find it too hard to resist the life of luxury - God it’s hard to not be fickle!
Life’s headfucks have made me reassess the importance of football in my life although it does still jab away at me especially when a shit show like this occurs.
Like you say Sam, I try to keep my corner of the world a positive place and hope my boys will grow up to appreciate the importance of decency and making a difference whilst not being too entitled.
We’re a privileged nation in a batshit world. It’s so hard to navigate without falling off route sometimes. We’ve just got to keep trying to steer straight- and now I’m waffling nonsense which could go on and on so I’ll stop - but thanks as always and please keep em’ coming Sam!
Great thanks for your posts Sam! I’ve been your follower for years now man. I got similar stories in regards to booze and drugs.... stay strong man! Thanks again
Outstanding Sam, and so true. A bit of humility and self awareness is the key to a happier existence. I remember that night as well by the way. That and Gerrard’s goal...
Always good to read Sam, 4 months sober tomorrow thanks to AA after 20years of abusing alcohol, going to bed sober is all that matters at the moment, keep up the good work you are doing with the reset, and thanks for helping me laugh listening to you and Andy, the great cliched medicine 👍
Nice work. I remember those first few months being tough. I'm 11 months in and its feeling easier to get to bed time with out wondering about booze. Stay strong and talk through your weakness. :-)
It is so helpful for my anxiety to hear someone else talking about their hope for a slower, more humble, less destructive approach to life post covid. Gives me hope! Thank you Sam.
I was a TFTM listener from almost the very beginning, and I went back and listened to the early episodes when I was first introduced to the podcast. I was a member of the Iron Filings Society, and I sat in the front row of one of the live sessions in London in Sept 2019 with my brother - both wearing DIY TFTM t-shirts that I'd made (which got us noticed.)
I was pregnant at the time and also growing a large cancerous tumour in my back which hadn't been found yet. I was suffering with intense pain, and ended up in hospital by Oct 19 and in a hospice - still pregnant - in Nov and Dec 19.
I stopped listening to the podcast when I was very ill in the hospice. I stopped doing anything I had previously found enjoyable, because I didn't want to be reminded about the life I had been living in such a state of anxiety, fear, sadness, dread and anger. Life had become unrecognisable. I was afraid that I wasn't going to survive, or even meet my daughter.
My daughter was born prematurely by caesarean in Dec 19. She was miraculously healthy despite going through a round of chemotherapy with me. I've managed to get into remission, and I had stem cell transplant in June 2020 which put me in Intensive Care.
I'm trying to piece my life back together now, slowly finding the things that I enjoyed and became afraid to enjoy. I don't have a job currently, so I can only listen to the free episodes of podcasts at the moment in the rare times I have a moment to myself when my daughter is asleep.
I think this podcast and these articles are brilliant. The way that Sam writes really resonates with me. I struggle to capture my thoughts into words, but I read his writing and feel as though I could have written it myself if I had the skills. As someone who suffered with stress, anxiety and depression before cancer came into my life, I know it's going to take a lot of time and effort to improve my mental health. I'm looking forward to more from The Reset.
Brilliant as always and as they say in recovery "if nothing changes, nothing changes" so for now I'm gonna at least do my bit and keep making that change, to be a better person, a better son, a better brother and a better father and most of all be better to myself and hopefully like they also say in recovery "attraction rather than promotion." Oh I do love a slogan lol. 😆😂🤣🤦♂️
It gives me great joy to read your reflections and insights into your PST. It is so true that it’s easier to just lose yourself in another binge rather than face up to the reality. It’s fully loaded with every type of emotion and who would open themselves to that? I'd watch my son reach that crossroads so many times, hoping he’d take the road that would lead him back to us. I'd look at him with sadness. For too many years I tried to fix it. Hoped I could somehow help him through the guilt; stop the nightmares and the flashbacks that he only knew one way to stop. It was only when I joined a parent of addicts group that I fully understood I was not communicating with my son, but the addiction. It changed everything for me. At the time he was disappearing and we were frantic we’d find him dead. We'd search everywhere. I was told he had to hit rock bottom, whatever that meant (every possibility he’d OD and die) Or he’d start to climb back out of the hole. Whatever the outcome, what was clear, after 25 years, was whatever I did our didn’t do, wouldn’t change the outcome. He’s still here. Off the drugs for 18 months now but still binge drinking occasionally. I did help in the end, by stepping back. And I gave him the letter I wrote to 'addiction'. I like to think it helped him get perspective and separate the person he is from the addiction. I carry a card with me at all times. ‘I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. I can not prevent it’.
Keep on pouring out your thoughts and feelings Sam. You are honestly helping so many. Thank you.
Top read Sam - I’m a lifelong City fan and have never felt more ashamed of the club I chose to support although it’s been pretty embarrassing for the past decade.
Being a City fan for all your life- analogy- it’s like you’re a hard working bloke trying to keep your head above water - sometimes you sink and other times stay afloat- then you wake up one day to find you’ve won the lottery which at first, makes you ecstatically happy, but deep down it’s all superficial gain - If asked what’s your favourite car I’d say it was the Vauxhall Nova 1.2 merit I worked hard to scrimp and save for - although I know I’d never give up the Zonda for it (my hypothetical lottery winning car) - similarly, if asked what’s my best memory of City I’d instinctively reply “the 99 division 2 play- offs” because that was when city were shit and small gains meant the world- but if someone asked me would I go back there tomorrow if I could, I’d instinctively reply ”in a heartbeat” knowing deep down I’m not willing to give up the riches bestowed albeit for fleeting superficial moments of joy/ likewise I’d not give away all my millions I’d won because, despite doing some work for good causes (I hope I would) I’d find it too hard to resist the life of luxury - God it’s hard to not be fickle!
Life’s headfucks have made me reassess the importance of football in my life although it does still jab away at me especially when a shit show like this occurs.
Like you say Sam, I try to keep my corner of the world a positive place and hope my boys will grow up to appreciate the importance of decency and making a difference whilst not being too entitled.
We’re a privileged nation in a batshit world. It’s so hard to navigate without falling off route sometimes. We’ve just got to keep trying to steer straight- and now I’m waffling nonsense which could go on and on so I’ll stop - but thanks as always and please keep em’ coming Sam!
Great thanks for your posts Sam! I’ve been your follower for years now man. I got similar stories in regards to booze and drugs.... stay strong man! Thanks again
Thank you Sam
Outstanding Sam, and so true. A bit of humility and self awareness is the key to a happier existence. I remember that night as well by the way. That and Gerrard’s goal...