I’m a father of a 2 year old boy and the paragraph you wrote about trying to be a good dad felt like you wrote my exact thoughts. It’s made me feel like a weight has lifted to know that others feel like this so thank you for writing this.
I will make sure to make time to rest and I look forward to your next post.
Great read and very reassuring. Hearing your stories and experiences through TFTM and through The Reset over the past couple of years has helped me no end and just wanted to say a massive thank you. Also Burnham Beeches is a hell of a place to reset the demons so thanks for that recommendation!
Microdosing helps to chill out,look around, feel like resting or doing one thing at a time instead of tearing around multi tasking/taxing the mind and body.
Big fan of the TFTM pod, it's really helped me get through a tough year mentally, just being able to stick it on, zone out and have a laugh has been much needed 👍
Your Reset emails are really timely as well - I have a close friend who is struggling with alcohol addiction gambling debt and the breakdown of his marriage and it looks like he won't be spending his daughters first Christmas with her. Those that know of his problems have tried, and failed, to help. I think he'd really benefit even just reading your weekly emails but I don't want to subscribe him anonymously and freak him out. Do you have any advice or guidance you can give for how we can get him to recognise he needs proper help, without pushing him away?
Only good can come of your taking the time to share such vitally important, oft ignored life issues, that affect so many of us. As you state, Sam, we must begin with ourselves, in order that we can function optimally for others around us and within our lives. Its our being sure to regularly validate who we are that you, and The Reset help massively with, Sam. Thank you so much for the time and the love you invest in this great project, buddy.
Another great read, although the young dad bit doesn’t resonate with me personally. Early 30s/young kids = welcome & overdue break from being “on it”, enjoying being all-in new dad and doing my bit, loads of energy, life on the up. Mid 40s present; kids older and more self sufficient ergo I’m redundant and marginalised while worrying terribly about their future, feeling old and weary, hanging on in life and constantly battling the pull of the drink and, embarrassingly at my age, the drugs. I thought by now I’d have it sussed yet feel like going backwards. Anyway, keep on keeping on, tomorrow’s another day.
Another top notch post there Samuel Brendan Delaney.
I love nothing more than playing stuff with my boys but it’s knackering.
I sometimes catch up to an hour after work, before school pick-up to employ the ‘just rest’ lifestyle - but I try and cram so much into it (a bit of TV, a bit of songwriting, getting in my steps to reach the daily 10,000 etc.), it often becomes more stressful than productive - think I need to take the ‘do nothing and empty your mind’ approach every once in a while but without the guilt of ‘oh bollocks, I could’ve been doing a job that now my wife will do before I get chance’ - Christ it’s not easy juggling work, family, hobbies and rest...
I luckily have never suffered from addiction or depression, but your emails, and the fact you are openly talking about your situation is both informative about men’s struggles and their takes on life’s challenges. Keep talking. TTFN D***head😀
Another great piece Sam, makes me feel better about myself just reading it and realising a lot of us go through similar experiences. Thanks for the book tip too, looking forward to reading it and learning to slow up a bit whilst accepting that feeling a bit shit isn’t abnormal or bad. Thanks again have a great weekend.
Nick
PS Beeping Timmy might be a new high for TFTM, I almost lost control of my bowels on my evening stroll.
Very interesting read. I’m a compulsive gambler and I’ve never been able to get my nut round it properly. I desperately need to work it out and with a new year approaching its given me another kick up t’arse to be active in recovery rather than passively hoping days evaporate away error free. Can go months with no gambling and then bang another relapse. Still keep trying new things every time and talking as best I can. Interested to know if the addictions came become the depression or the depression led to the addictions? I can’t seem to find any rhyme or reason between why I can be fine one day and then suddenly not fine. It can be very lonely when people close to you don’t understand the addiction... “just don’t gamble” or “just have 50p on an acca”... most often accompanied by a look that you must be daft in the head is the most common response. Keep up the good work. TFTM cheered me up on a lot of dark days.
I was so angry when my kids were first born, I couldn't knock back work but I still wanted to be the dad I thought I should be even though I knew it wasn't possible. In the end I was on the verge of exploding most the time and drinking the rest and feeling guilty about not handling the situation like everyone else seemed to.
My youngest is three now and it was a long slog but I've realised everyone struggles and we need to be honest about it.
Keep up the good work here and TFTM, you're a good man Sam.
Love this one. 👌
It’s beginning to get scary how much this echoes where I am.
I’ve been on anti-depressants for about 6 months (age 38). Our daughter is 4. The above completely describes how it’s gone for me.
Keep them coming, Sam. I really appreciate them and I know I’m not alone.
I’m a father of a 2 year old boy and the paragraph you wrote about trying to be a good dad felt like you wrote my exact thoughts. It’s made me feel like a weight has lifted to know that others feel like this so thank you for writing this.
I will make sure to make time to rest and I look forward to your next post.
Thank you and keep up the good work
Great read and very reassuring. Hearing your stories and experiences through TFTM and through The Reset over the past couple of years has helped me no end and just wanted to say a massive thank you. Also Burnham Beeches is a hell of a place to reset the demons so thanks for that recommendation!
So good.
Microdosing helps to chill out,look around, feel like resting or doing one thing at a time instead of tearing around multi tasking/taxing the mind and body.
Fuck me, I could have written this
Big fan of the TFTM pod, it's really helped me get through a tough year mentally, just being able to stick it on, zone out and have a laugh has been much needed 👍
Your Reset emails are really timely as well - I have a close friend who is struggling with alcohol addiction gambling debt and the breakdown of his marriage and it looks like he won't be spending his daughters first Christmas with her. Those that know of his problems have tried, and failed, to help. I think he'd really benefit even just reading your weekly emails but I don't want to subscribe him anonymously and freak him out. Do you have any advice or guidance you can give for how we can get him to recognise he needs proper help, without pushing him away?
Great stuff again Sam. Can’t imagine there’s anyone who hasn’t felt like this to some degree, even for a while. Keep it coming please
Only good can come of your taking the time to share such vitally important, oft ignored life issues, that affect so many of us. As you state, Sam, we must begin with ourselves, in order that we can function optimally for others around us and within our lives. Its our being sure to regularly validate who we are that you, and The Reset help massively with, Sam. Thank you so much for the time and the love you invest in this great project, buddy.
Resonates strongly. Sam, cheers for this.
Another great read, although the young dad bit doesn’t resonate with me personally. Early 30s/young kids = welcome & overdue break from being “on it”, enjoying being all-in new dad and doing my bit, loads of energy, life on the up. Mid 40s present; kids older and more self sufficient ergo I’m redundant and marginalised while worrying terribly about their future, feeling old and weary, hanging on in life and constantly battling the pull of the drink and, embarrassingly at my age, the drugs. I thought by now I’d have it sussed yet feel like going backwards. Anyway, keep on keeping on, tomorrow’s another day.
Another top notch post there Samuel Brendan Delaney.
I love nothing more than playing stuff with my boys but it’s knackering.
I sometimes catch up to an hour after work, before school pick-up to employ the ‘just rest’ lifestyle - but I try and cram so much into it (a bit of TV, a bit of songwriting, getting in my steps to reach the daily 10,000 etc.), it often becomes more stressful than productive - think I need to take the ‘do nothing and empty your mind’ approach every once in a while but without the guilt of ‘oh bollocks, I could’ve been doing a job that now my wife will do before I get chance’ - Christ it’s not easy juggling work, family, hobbies and rest...
I luckily have never suffered from addiction or depression, but your emails, and the fact you are openly talking about your situation is both informative about men’s struggles and their takes on life’s challenges. Keep talking. TTFN D***head😀
Another great piece Sam, makes me feel better about myself just reading it and realising a lot of us go through similar experiences. Thanks for the book tip too, looking forward to reading it and learning to slow up a bit whilst accepting that feeling a bit shit isn’t abnormal or bad. Thanks again have a great weekend.
Nick
PS Beeping Timmy might be a new high for TFTM, I almost lost control of my bowels on my evening stroll.
Very interesting read. I’m a compulsive gambler and I’ve never been able to get my nut round it properly. I desperately need to work it out and with a new year approaching its given me another kick up t’arse to be active in recovery rather than passively hoping days evaporate away error free. Can go months with no gambling and then bang another relapse. Still keep trying new things every time and talking as best I can. Interested to know if the addictions came become the depression or the depression led to the addictions? I can’t seem to find any rhyme or reason between why I can be fine one day and then suddenly not fine. It can be very lonely when people close to you don’t understand the addiction... “just don’t gamble” or “just have 50p on an acca”... most often accompanied by a look that you must be daft in the head is the most common response. Keep up the good work. TFTM cheered me up on a lot of dark days.
I was so angry when my kids were first born, I couldn't knock back work but I still wanted to be the dad I thought I should be even though I knew it wasn't possible. In the end I was on the verge of exploding most the time and drinking the rest and feeling guilty about not handling the situation like everyone else seemed to.
My youngest is three now and it was a long slog but I've realised everyone struggles and we need to be honest about it.
Keep up the good work here and TFTM, you're a good man Sam.