Painful to read that Sam, I hear far too many home truths in that for me. Been trying to stop for years. Don't see an end to my drinking, sick of it which the worst bit.
Hi Pete, a lot of us have been there. It took me having the choice between losing the love of my life or losing my biggest coping mechanism. I've been sober for 526 days now and having to deal with daily anxieties, historic anxieties and just other day-to-day shit is hard with out numbing it with booze. However, being in control of the anxieties and channeling them into other things is a hugely empowering thing to do.
I hope you get the strength to do it, you're never alone.
Thanks The Jazz Farmer, I did 26 days booze free earlier this year. I felt so much better but not making my 30 day goal made me feel like any long-term change impossible. Those 26 days taught me that one night of booze leads to two to three etc so I'm facing a future with zero booze, which feels daunting. Anyway, tonight I'm drinking Capri Sun cordial.
Telling yourself you can drink again will always mean that you'll give up again at some point. I was doing 2 bottles of wine a day at the point of quitting but after a couple of months without any booze, the thought of any booze made me feel a bit dirty.
You can quit, you just need to tell yourself and everyone else that asks that you don't drink at all.
Great work, Pete. I’d recommend working through your problems with a therapist if you can. There is a reason you have relied on booze, find that out and work through it whilst you’re sober and you stand a really great chance of beating this for good. X
Thanks. I've done a few courses of cbt with a therapist and have been taking meds for a couple of anxiety disorders for a good few years. I've always liked substances that take me away from myself, being myself gets tiring. I just need to kick the crutch of booze away. I know I don't need it.
Thanks Sam - my drinking days were down to expectancy I think - it was as normal a part of child development as teething, walking and getting pubes.
It just seemed like it was the required step to enter adulthood and I relied on it for confidence and though it gave me charisma…
Utter bollocks - although being pissed was my first encounter with my now wife, (and I told her I was a rockstar), it was the following sober encounter when I actually had any meaningful conversation with her.
One of your best writings Sam. It took me back to my first 3-4 years in England. I was well on the way myself. When it became financially impossible with marriage and a child to drink at the rate I had been, I sought other ways of driving the black dog away. It took me years to begin to face up to real source of all that shit: myself. I could think of a number of people who could benefit from this piece of your writing.
Great stuff Sam. I remember in a previous piece you summed up perfectly the utter futility of doing gear, and this, for me, hits the nail on the head for booze …
That five minute buzz followed by an uncomfortable craving followed by gradual anticlimax, then grogginess then nausea then self hatred and shame. Who needs that shit in their life?
Painful to read that Sam, I hear far too many home truths in that for me. Been trying to stop for years. Don't see an end to my drinking, sick of it which the worst bit.
You can make a change mate if you want to. It is worth it.
Hi Pete, a lot of us have been there. It took me having the choice between losing the love of my life or losing my biggest coping mechanism. I've been sober for 526 days now and having to deal with daily anxieties, historic anxieties and just other day-to-day shit is hard with out numbing it with booze. However, being in control of the anxieties and channeling them into other things is a hugely empowering thing to do.
I hope you get the strength to do it, you're never alone.
Thanks The Jazz Farmer, I did 26 days booze free earlier this year. I felt so much better but not making my 30 day goal made me feel like any long-term change impossible. Those 26 days taught me that one night of booze leads to two to three etc so I'm facing a future with zero booze, which feels daunting. Anyway, tonight I'm drinking Capri Sun cordial.
Telling yourself you can drink again will always mean that you'll give up again at some point. I was doing 2 bottles of wine a day at the point of quitting but after a couple of months without any booze, the thought of any booze made me feel a bit dirty.
You can quit, you just need to tell yourself and everyone else that asks that you don't drink at all.
Day 4 and feeling good
Great work, Pete. I’d recommend working through your problems with a therapist if you can. There is a reason you have relied on booze, find that out and work through it whilst you’re sober and you stand a really great chance of beating this for good. X
Thanks. I've done a few courses of cbt with a therapist and have been taking meds for a couple of anxiety disorders for a good few years. I've always liked substances that take me away from myself, being myself gets tiring. I just need to kick the crutch of booze away. I know I don't need it.
Replace the word booze with 'gambling' for me, same story. I haven't had a bet in 8 years.
Thanks Sam - my drinking days were down to expectancy I think - it was as normal a part of child development as teething, walking and getting pubes.
It just seemed like it was the required step to enter adulthood and I relied on it for confidence and though it gave me charisma…
Utter bollocks - although being pissed was my first encounter with my now wife, (and I told her I was a rockstar), it was the following sober encounter when I actually had any meaningful conversation with her.
Keep em’ coming Sam!
One of your best writings Sam. It took me back to my first 3-4 years in England. I was well on the way myself. When it became financially impossible with marriage and a child to drink at the rate I had been, I sought other ways of driving the black dog away. It took me years to begin to face up to real source of all that shit: myself. I could think of a number of people who could benefit from this piece of your writing.
Great stuff Sam. I remember in a previous piece you summed up perfectly the utter futility of doing gear, and this, for me, hits the nail on the head for booze …
That five minute buzz followed by an uncomfortable craving followed by gradual anticlimax, then grogginess then nausea then self hatred and shame. Who needs that shit in their life?
Keep ‘em coming
Really hits home, that
I'm currently evaluating my relationship with alcohol.... It sucks you in and holds on tight.
Step at a time. I've quit the shitty job at last so hoping I won't need to self medicate so badly....
Thanks Sam
Bloody brilliant article Sam...obvs...Britain's best journalist innit.
Booze tasted horrible until I trained myself to like it...it's rubbish but I still drink it!
Folks...Love yourself and look within. TTFN. Peace.
Epic Sam, so much resonates, I needed to read that this evening, thank you.