Superb read that Sam, the lack of confidence after knock backs really resonates with me and it is a hard way back. Loved the line about the snickers and the wank, id never thought of putting the two together....until now. Keep it up Sam it genuinely helps mate
Nice one Andy. Just trying to put it out there that all of face knock backs and it always stings a bit. Usually i don't eat the Snickers and wank simultaneously as that can be quite dangerous. Have the wank then chase it down with a snickers.
Great again Sam. I’m pretty happy with how things have turned out for me but still have bouts of what can only be described as self loathing, and the word ‘failure’ both terrifies and obsesses me. I am working on trying not to think of things in such stark terms and recognise the nuances a bit more. It’s taking a bit of time tbf but this has helped with the effort to keep things in perspective. Brilliant
Cheers for reading Nick. I wrote this because talking to mates my age I realise that so many of us have this nagging fear of failure. But what constitutes success and failure is very often dictated by other people with their own agendas. Working out for yourself what you deem to be a good life is key i reckon.
Hi Sam just sent this on to my young nephew who feels nothing he does is right at the moment hoping it will give him a lift n realise a perfect life is impossible to live his life have fun n just rest
Hey Sam, thank you for writing this. I have struggled with ‘mad comparisons/expectations’ a lot during my life / career and I’m working hard on it at the moment, so this has really hit the spot. Thanks for sharing as always.
Cheers Aaron. Comparisons are pointless. I think you need to settle on a clear and simple vision of who you want to be and only judge yourself by that. Base it on the stuff that makes you feel content /fulfilled. All the other stuff is just fucking mad noise mate (it has taken me years to realise all of this btw)
Cheers for this Sam, great insight as ever. This coupled with your chat with Chris Ryan really spoke to me.
I left the military nearly 20 years ago and, as he says, most people leave without having any clue about the outside world because they're effectively hand fed everything. For me, that meant when I left and heard the secondhand stories of those who had left before or after and apparently got great jobs and were living their best lives, it really hit me hard.
As ever, it's only in the last few years that I've realised that life isn't a competition and when someone gave me the advice "Row your own boat", I started to try and live more by that mantra. You can't do anything about other people's boats, look after your own.
Totally right mate, that's a good way of putting it. Blocking out the noise that surrounds us about how other people are living their lives is tough but important. Thanks for getting in touch, appreciate your support
Brilliant article once again Sam - it used to be my job to guide families about parenting, yet when tragedy struck in my life (separate story) and I got overwhelmed working in children’s mental health services, I often found my own parenting skills questionable and I constantly questioned my competency to carry out my job - indeed I deemed myself a failure as both a practitioner, husband and father.
It took a complete career change to window cleaning and an amazingly strong and supportive wife to pull my head out of the sand and help me appreciate what I had and who I was - now my ambitions are still high (never stop wanting to write music) but expectations are to accept life as it is and my satisfaction comes from my boys, my band, music, football and my nightly TV hour with my wife - not adverse to the snickers routine either, although I’d go for a double decker 😜 - cheers Sam, keep em coming...
Thanks Sam, I really appreciate this.
Superb read that Sam, the lack of confidence after knock backs really resonates with me and it is a hard way back. Loved the line about the snickers and the wank, id never thought of putting the two together....until now. Keep it up Sam it genuinely helps mate
Nice one Andy. Just trying to put it out there that all of face knock backs and it always stings a bit. Usually i don't eat the Snickers and wank simultaneously as that can be quite dangerous. Have the wank then chase it down with a snickers.
Great again Sam. I’m pretty happy with how things have turned out for me but still have bouts of what can only be described as self loathing, and the word ‘failure’ both terrifies and obsesses me. I am working on trying not to think of things in such stark terms and recognise the nuances a bit more. It’s taking a bit of time tbf but this has helped with the effort to keep things in perspective. Brilliant
Cheers for reading Nick. I wrote this because talking to mates my age I realise that so many of us have this nagging fear of failure. But what constitutes success and failure is very often dictated by other people with their own agendas. Working out for yourself what you deem to be a good life is key i reckon.
Hi Sam just sent this on to my young nephew who feels nothing he does is right at the moment hoping it will give him a lift n realise a perfect life is impossible to live his life have fun n just rest
I hope it helps him. Not everything you do has to be 10/10. Life is not a cup final!
Cheers mate started him on TFTM too so I kn he'll be smiling take care
Hey Sam, thank you for writing this. I have struggled with ‘mad comparisons/expectations’ a lot during my life / career and I’m working hard on it at the moment, so this has really hit the spot. Thanks for sharing as always.
Cheers Aaron. Comparisons are pointless. I think you need to settle on a clear and simple vision of who you want to be and only judge yourself by that. Base it on the stuff that makes you feel content /fulfilled. All the other stuff is just fucking mad noise mate (it has taken me years to realise all of this btw)
Cheers for this Sam, great insight as ever. This coupled with your chat with Chris Ryan really spoke to me.
I left the military nearly 20 years ago and, as he says, most people leave without having any clue about the outside world because they're effectively hand fed everything. For me, that meant when I left and heard the secondhand stories of those who had left before or after and apparently got great jobs and were living their best lives, it really hit me hard.
As ever, it's only in the last few years that I've realised that life isn't a competition and when someone gave me the advice "Row your own boat", I started to try and live more by that mantra. You can't do anything about other people's boats, look after your own.
Totally right mate, that's a good way of putting it. Blocking out the noise that surrounds us about how other people are living their lives is tough but important. Thanks for getting in touch, appreciate your support
Brilliant article once again Sam - it used to be my job to guide families about parenting, yet when tragedy struck in my life (separate story) and I got overwhelmed working in children’s mental health services, I often found my own parenting skills questionable and I constantly questioned my competency to carry out my job - indeed I deemed myself a failure as both a practitioner, husband and father.
It took a complete career change to window cleaning and an amazingly strong and supportive wife to pull my head out of the sand and help me appreciate what I had and who I was - now my ambitions are still high (never stop wanting to write music) but expectations are to accept life as it is and my satisfaction comes from my boys, my band, music, football and my nightly TV hour with my wife - not adverse to the snickers routine either, although I’d go for a double decker 😜 - cheers Sam, keep em coming...