Absolutely brilliant mate so well said I really would have said the same thing to my boy but now after reading that I probably won't and might just say wait till your 16 to do that or just don't do it at all because its not all that's it cracked up to be and u are just or even more able to have fun without all that shit. The consequences in the long run just ain't worth it. Trust me I know 🤦♂️
It's not until your older, particularly when you have children of your own, you look back at your friends who you envied for having 'cool parents', that you realise they were twats! There are plenty of things we can do with our kids as 'mates' but parents can never truly be 'mates' imo, if we are doing the job of caring for them; protecting them and keeping them safe. They might push the boundaries by challenging you but they respect you ultimately if it’s coming from a place of love.
This is a tough one for me Sam. And part of the reason I am listening and reading so avidly. (Only part - the last year for me reads like the lyrics of a Country song. Expecting my crops to fail any day soon). For now I’ll focus on my Grandson, who died on July 18th, the morning after his 15th birthday, of a drug overdose. I can’t even write about it because there is an ongoing police investigation. We do know he and his friends celebrated his birthday by taking half a tab of MDMA; it’s a party drug after all! (Pocket money drugs they're called - £100 for 50 on the internet. £2 each. A pound a pop! And we do know he went off with the big boys to bring back more, but he never came back. He wasn’t even drinking, except water, that the big boys spiked. Then the took videos; tic tok, of his seizures.
If I could advise you on anything relating to your beautiful daughter it would be to educate her, in the same way you tell them not to stick their finger in a plug socket 'because you'll die’. If they test it out by putting their finger in a socket, then you’d at least done all you can to educate them. The choice, once they know the risks and dangers, is theirs alone to make.
The schools do a pretty good job of raising awareness on drugs/alcohol, but you could always Find a way in yourself. Yes she'll be mortified and embarrassed but she will listen while Darke’s she’s cringing. Unfortunately for young girls in particular there’s the added worry of spiking. It’s a sad truth that they never let their drinks out of their sight.
Kids feel safe with boundaries (self control is tricky in pubescents and adolescents so they look for adults/parents to set them for them. They feel safe, even when they’re pushing them.
Equip your daughter with knowledge and awareness. The rest is really up to her, as we all know. Good luck!
Jacqui, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandson. That must be so awful. I appreciate your thoughts and insights on all of the stuff I put here. I'm no expert and am feeling my way through this stuff like anyone else. I certainly intend to inform my daughter of the dangers of all drink and drugs. I've done quite a lot of that already - you're right, she hates it and think it's cringey but I reckon she secretly appreciates the info. Lots of love.
Thank you Sam. None of us are experts, particularly with our own; all our experiences are personal and emotionally led in the main. But we are trying to understand, and bring about change, which is the most important thing. Don’t stop trying. It was awful; beyond anything I’d imagined, but I’ve got through with six months of incredible support of a Cruse bereavement counsellor, good friends and family, humour and a determination (like many of your guests) to do something about it. I've stayed in touch with many of my grandson's friends; incredible young people, who learnt a major life lesson the hardest way. I'm doing all I can to educate myself about these particulate drugs and raise awareness. (You wouldn’t believe how many kids sit in the safety of their bedroom ordering drugs delivered to their door. No lowlife dealers needed). I'll find you a link to a 'dad' who’s campaigning; both his sons came down to London for a gig and both found dead in their hotel room the next morning. Good kids on a night out.
Anyway, I¡ll keep putting in my penny's worth. I felt a bit too female initially, contributing, but I’m over qualified, sadly, in so many of the areas you cover, as will become apparent.
Tip: ask your daughter casually if she’s heard anything about mdma (or the other party drugs) act stupid. If she knows anything at all, she'll tell you.
Kids do that. Want to impress with knowledge an adult might not have. If she doesn’t you can look it up together.
Brilliant as ever Delaney man - it’s a hard lesson to learn being a dad that once your kids hits adolescence you go from steering them in every direction they go to guiding them in the hope they follow the SatNav of a decent and fulfilling life - cheers - keep em’ coming Sam!
A load of my private music students are at that age where they're going out and getting teenage spannered. I've felt it important to tell them (some of) my experiences too. I think it's important that when you see a formerly always fucking bright kid nursing a teenage hangover or clearly spaced out because of last nights skunk, to give them a gentle nudge towards the realities and point out how different they are after they use.
Absolutely brilliant mate so well said I really would have said the same thing to my boy but now after reading that I probably won't and might just say wait till your 16 to do that or just don't do it at all because its not all that's it cracked up to be and u are just or even more able to have fun without all that shit. The consequences in the long run just ain't worth it. Trust me I know 🤦♂️
Exactly mate.
It's not until your older, particularly when you have children of your own, you look back at your friends who you envied for having 'cool parents', that you realise they were twats! There are plenty of things we can do with our kids as 'mates' but parents can never truly be 'mates' imo, if we are doing the job of caring for them; protecting them and keeping them safe. They might push the boundaries by challenging you but they respect you ultimately if it’s coming from a place of love.
This is a tough one for me Sam. And part of the reason I am listening and reading so avidly. (Only part - the last year for me reads like the lyrics of a Country song. Expecting my crops to fail any day soon). For now I’ll focus on my Grandson, who died on July 18th, the morning after his 15th birthday, of a drug overdose. I can’t even write about it because there is an ongoing police investigation. We do know he and his friends celebrated his birthday by taking half a tab of MDMA; it’s a party drug after all! (Pocket money drugs they're called - £100 for 50 on the internet. £2 each. A pound a pop! And we do know he went off with the big boys to bring back more, but he never came back. He wasn’t even drinking, except water, that the big boys spiked. Then the took videos; tic tok, of his seizures.
If I could advise you on anything relating to your beautiful daughter it would be to educate her, in the same way you tell them not to stick their finger in a plug socket 'because you'll die’. If they test it out by putting their finger in a socket, then you’d at least done all you can to educate them. The choice, once they know the risks and dangers, is theirs alone to make.
The schools do a pretty good job of raising awareness on drugs/alcohol, but you could always Find a way in yourself. Yes she'll be mortified and embarrassed but she will listen while Darke’s she’s cringing. Unfortunately for young girls in particular there’s the added worry of spiking. It’s a sad truth that they never let their drinks out of their sight.
Kids feel safe with boundaries (self control is tricky in pubescents and adolescents so they look for adults/parents to set them for them. They feel safe, even when they’re pushing them.
Equip your daughter with knowledge and awareness. The rest is really up to her, as we all know. Good luck!
Jacqui, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandson. That must be so awful. I appreciate your thoughts and insights on all of the stuff I put here. I'm no expert and am feeling my way through this stuff like anyone else. I certainly intend to inform my daughter of the dangers of all drink and drugs. I've done quite a lot of that already - you're right, she hates it and think it's cringey but I reckon she secretly appreciates the info. Lots of love.
Thank you Sam. None of us are experts, particularly with our own; all our experiences are personal and emotionally led in the main. But we are trying to understand, and bring about change, which is the most important thing. Don’t stop trying. It was awful; beyond anything I’d imagined, but I’ve got through with six months of incredible support of a Cruse bereavement counsellor, good friends and family, humour and a determination (like many of your guests) to do something about it. I've stayed in touch with many of my grandson's friends; incredible young people, who learnt a major life lesson the hardest way. I'm doing all I can to educate myself about these particulate drugs and raise awareness. (You wouldn’t believe how many kids sit in the safety of their bedroom ordering drugs delivered to their door. No lowlife dealers needed). I'll find you a link to a 'dad' who’s campaigning; both his sons came down to London for a gig and both found dead in their hotel room the next morning. Good kids on a night out.
Anyway, I¡ll keep putting in my penny's worth. I felt a bit too female initially, contributing, but I’m over qualified, sadly, in so many of the areas you cover, as will become apparent.
Tip: ask your daughter casually if she’s heard anything about mdma (or the other party drugs) act stupid. If she knows anything at all, she'll tell you.
Kids do that. Want to impress with knowledge an adult might not have. If she doesn’t you can look it up together.
Amazing Sam. What you are doing with the reset is phenomenal ✊🏻
Thanks as always Dan
Agreed. So good to hear it from this perspective.
Brilliant as ever Delaney man - it’s a hard lesson to learn being a dad that once your kids hits adolescence you go from steering them in every direction they go to guiding them in the hope they follow the SatNav of a decent and fulfilling life - cheers - keep em’ coming Sam!
Cheer Mike....you're right, we are all working that tightrope of parenthood.
A load of my private music students are at that age where they're going out and getting teenage spannered. I've felt it important to tell them (some of) my experiences too. I think it's important that when you see a formerly always fucking bright kid nursing a teenage hangover or clearly spaced out because of last nights skunk, to give them a gentle nudge towards the realities and point out how different they are after they use.
Some great advice in here and on the Reset overall, you are doing great work Sam!